I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think people are normalizing furries
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