Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
