i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
