in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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