When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
