If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
