There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
