I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
