she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
