I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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