I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
