So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
