I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
