There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
