i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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