...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
