Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
