I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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