no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
