just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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