as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he was CRYING into my vagina
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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