Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
