I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize