This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
