Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
