Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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