I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I want to be your penis for a week.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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