Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She needs sedatives and a leash
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
