We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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