You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
