at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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