Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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