The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
