I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
