She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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