i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
