my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you made out with another girl for some wings
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
