That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
