420 ftw
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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