I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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