who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you inspire me to be a worse person
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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