his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
