Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
