that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
