I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
