dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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