Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
be right there i have to get my cape
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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