i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
