I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
