We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
