Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I deserve this hangover.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
