I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
