I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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