don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
