don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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