we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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