How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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