she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
