cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
