Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
