Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
