I didn't shave. On purpose
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
they're like a gay fantastic four
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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