loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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