i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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