so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
