i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
