Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Sober January is a disaster.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize