what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I forget how to act sober
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
